Recess

Back in elementary school, the highlight of my morning was often the 15 minute break that gave me the chance to go out on the playground and get rid of all of my energy. That or find the boy that I had an innocent crush on and hopelessly try to flirt with him, whatever that meant at the age of 8. Ohhh the fantastic thing that we once knew simply as recess.

Wikipedia defines recess as “a general term for a period of time in which a group of people is temporarily dismissed from its duties.” Many elementary schools use recess to give kids a chance to take a break from learning, from the responsibilities of the classroom, and to get some physical exercise. It also gives children the opportunity to develop the skills needed to effectively socialize. All of these things become very important later in life. My opinion is that recess is paramount in a child’s education, and to keep teachers sane.

I think I need an emotional recess in my life.

I need a break from adult responsibility. I need a break from gossip, and pettiness, and drama, and emotional roller coasters, and little things that impact me way more than they should. I need to get out on the playground and run around carefree like a child, with no worries other than waiting for the bell to ring to bring me back to real life. And I want to come back eventually, but a nice little break seems to be in store for me.

I think that mentally, I need to STOP every once in a while. Stop holding myself accountable for everything that happens in my life. Stop getting caught up in the craziness that each day usually brings. Stop doing so many things. Stop thinking that I have the responsibility and the ability to solve everyone’s problems. Stop thinking that I can be a super-friend, when really I am just a normal person who runs herself ragged trying to fit it all in. And I’m not actually that great at being a super-friend in the end anyway!

I need to START taking more time for myself. Start treating myself better. Start spending more time in the Word and less time at a restaurant. Start concerning myself with what God wants out of me, rather than what other people want out of me. Start doing things that I want to do, which may include not doing much of anything at all, or it may include tackling a to-do list. Either way, I want my choices and opinions, at least for a little while, to not impact anyone else at all.

I want to be careful here not to cause you to think that I want to be a couch potato. That’s not at all what this is about. When I look around my house, I can come up with a list of things that I’ve been wanting or needing to do for a while now. Like the weather stripping that has come off the bottom of my front door, or the repainting that I need to do in the bathroom, or doing something about my ice maker that has been broken for about 2 years now. Instead of doing all of those things, I go out to eat, or to a movie, or to a party, or away for the weekend – and I LOVE all of those things and the people that come alongside them. But I think it’s just a bit much for me right now. I don’t want to lend emotional support today. I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to make small talk. I want to grab a bucket of paint, turn on my iPod, and sing to my cat. Is that ok? Can I take a little emotional recess from my life?

Because I think that I need to. And I think that without a recess, I’m going to continue to turn into someone that I don’t recognize, and to be frank, someone I don’t like very much; the short-tempered, insensitive, impatient being that I feel I’m turning into at the moment. I can’t be a great friend in this state, nor co-worker, nor anything else for that matter. And it’s not fair to anyone.

So, I need a recess, and I don’t know when or how it is going to happen, or for how long, but it must. And it must happen soon. And I have a feeling that many of you out there have felt this way at some point, and have dealt with it, and you know exactly what I’m talking about. And you understand. At least I hope you do.

I think I hear the recess bell now…….