Friday, August 20, 2010

I Just Know

There are times in my life when I just know that I have it all figured out. Really, I do. I am full of confidence. I bounce around the various aspects of my life with ease, happily settling into each little nook and corner, not favoring one over the other. Just enjoying them all. And I feel…..happy and blessed. That’s how it’s been for me lately. I’ve been happy and have felt very blessed.

There has been a lot of change going on in my life over the past couple of months. A new church, a new job, meeting lots of new people, and just a different focus in life overall. I have loved every minute of it. I like change – I need change. And through it all, I’ve been very careful about thanking the person in charge of all of this. And acknowledging that it is He who has bestowed all of these blessings on me, and has given me the heart and mind to recognize them.

I’ve also noticed that He really does listen. I have proof. Well, not "proof", like something tangible that I can show you – not something that scientists would ever consider to be proof. But I just know. When an idea just pops into my head after I’ve been praying about something? Well, that’s Him. That’s God. And it’s not just a random thought. It is the perfect answer to whatever question I had posed to Him or doubt that was running through my mind. And although I may not always like the answer, I know it’s His answer, and I just have to roll with it.

Case in point: I have been really working on spending more time with Jesus lately. Just me and Him. Talking to Him, reading all about Him in the Bible, and reflecting on every aspect of His character. This is something that I have been praying about a lot lately. And even before that, I really wanted to get to a point where He was my perfect portion. A point where I realized that He was enough for me right now. It’s a hard spot to get to when we live in this fallen world and there are other distractions for our time and our energy. I was getting there; I’d like to think that I still am getting there.

And then other things come up, and I begin thinking about some of these distractions, and all of a sudden they become the subject of my prayer. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. They may be good distractions. But there’s a conflict now isn’t there? Have I put Jesus in a situation where He cannot answer both prayers? Perhaps I have. And it wouldn’t be fair to me to hold Him accountable for that, would it? I can’t get upset because both things aren’t happening. I have to listen to Him, and realize that maybe I can’t have both of them. At least maybe not right now. And this is exactly what He has told me. So maybe I walk away from one, or He takes one away from me. Either way, I rest in the confidence that I have in Him to guide me down His path.

So, there are times in life when I just know that I have it all figured out. And then He gives me His answer, instead of my own, and I realize that I’m not even close to figuring any of it out. And that’s kind of a relief. Why? Because I can be confident that I am living in His world and He has control over everything. I may be a control freak, but I try really hard to be happy in relinquishing control to Him.

Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. – Psalm 25: 4-5 (NIV)