Dear Trouble

I am completely smitten and I don’t even know you.
You make my heart race.
You make me feel things that I haven’t felt in a long time.
You adore me, and took care of me right from the start.
I pride myself in being in control of my feelings, and with you, I want to lose control.
You distract me from reality.
You charm me so effortlessly.
You know the exact right things to do and say at just the right moment. And when you do, I go weak in the knees.

*DEEP BREATH*

Have you ever run across trouble in your life? Everyone’s trouble is different, but in the end, it’s no good. It’s still trouble. And we know that in the depths of our soul. I don’t remember the exact occasion when I learned this little “trick”, but it works. It opens my eyes every time.

So what is the trick? When you run across something in your life that you know is trouble, but it feels so good, and you find yourself convincingly justifying it, grab your journal. Or if you don’t have a journal, grab a notepad or a napkin or a boarding pass, whatever you can, and write down everything about that trouble that you like. Write down all of the ways that it makes you feel something – whatever those feelings are. Allow yourself to let loose on your napkin; write all of the good stuff – the juicy stuff; stuff that you would never want anyone else to read. And then step back. And read it aloud. And you just might notice something.

For me, I notice that each feeling or thought that I wrote down sounded an awful lot like someone who knows me better than I know myself. A wolf in sheep’s clothing: Satan. He comes after me, time and time again. He woos me. He’s charming. And he’s very good at it. And sometimes he’s pretty successful.

I’ll be honest here; there are times when I feel like a split personality. On one hand, I recognize trouble when it comes after me. I tell myself that I am not going to be weak. But on the other hand, I convince myself that I deserve to feel that good. That it’s really not “that bad”. I start justifying things, and before I know it, I’m lured in by trouble’s charm. And oh how charming trouble can be.

So why is it SO hard to walk away from trouble? Like really really really almost impossibly hard? I catch myself in moments of almost pure panic wondering what the heck I’m doing and why I can’t open my mouth to talk to Jesus. It’s like I’m frozen. Trouble seduces me.

I’m only really recently learning about and recognizing spiritual warfare in my life. I’ve always heard about it, but until you are really seeking God’s face and becoming someone who Satan sees as a real threat, it’s hard to recognize.

According to Wikipedia, the definition of spiritual warfare is this (slightly abbreviated by me):

“Spiritual warfare responds to the Christian concept that the devil attempts to thwart good and the will of God, and is manifested in multiple ways, including attacks on a person's thoughts, relationships, or life with God.”

So what do you think these attacks look like in your life? Have you ever noticed them?

Trouble knows your weak spots. He certainly knows mine. And he uses people in your life, or circumstances in your life to attack you. And sometimes those attacks feel so good. A little too good. So good that you don’t even notice what’s happening until the Shepherd comes after you and brings you back to the flock. And He’ll always try.

The one good thing about these attacks is that with God on our side, we will always win. He will fight alongside us in the battle of spiritual warfare, and He never gives us anything that we can’t handle with His help. I certainly know that I could not handle ANY of it on my own. I am weak in the flesh, but He is strong! And with His strength, I am able to say this:

Dear Trouble, you lead me away from Jesus and tempt me in ways that I should not be tempted. And I can’t do that.