Breaking It Down

I’m an accountant. And to make it worse, I’m an auditor. But do not fear, I have nothing to do with taxes. Let’s just sum it up by saying that I spend my time making companies think about what’s happened in the past, all in the name of protecting the investors. Most of my clients don’t really like me. Well, at least what I do.

Some would also say that I have a Type A personality, which, according to http://www.wikipedia.org/, means that I fall within the group that “can be described as impatient, time-conscious, controlling, concerned about their status, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like, aggressive, having difficulty relaxing; and are sometimes disliked by individuals with Type B personalities for the way that they're always rushing. They are often high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays”. This also means that I have an analytical mind. So what?

Well, I’ve been reading a book . And something in this book really hit a cord with me. The book is called Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (on a side note, he’s got another great book called Outliers and one that is next on my list, Tipping Point – check them out!). The thing that grabbed my attention was the statement that “In the act of tearing something apart, you lose it’s meaning”. I don’t know what “something” is, but I like the concept on the surface.

So, it got me thinking about how I overanalyze the heck out of most things in my life: a relationship, a decision at the office, why I should or shouldn’t buy something new, do I or do I not go to yoga, how much money to put away in my savings accounts, where to eat dinner – a wide array of things with varying levels of importance to my life. And I think that this is sometimes healthy, because it gets our minds thinking and keeps us on our toes. But I think it can sometimes be not so healthy.

My personal opinion (and experience) has been that men typically follow their heads and women typically follow their hearts. When I think of someone who follows their head, I think of them as analytical: considering all of the consequences of each possible decision, the impact those decisions will have on other people or things, whether or not a decision is logical or rational etc. When I think of someone who follows their heart, I think of people who go with a gut feeling. They make decisions in the moment. That doesn’t mean that they are completely reckless and live life with carefree abandon, it just means that they realize that there may be some ramifications associated with their decision, but they really truly feel like it is the right decision to make. And they may not even know why.

I think a healthy balance of thinking with our heads and our hearts is probably the best place to be. But I so often get caught up in the analytical aspect of a decision. I don’t put faith or confidence in myself to actually make a decision on a whim or with my gut feeling. And this brings me back to the statement above: “In the act of tearing something apart, you lose it’s meaning”.

Gladwell went on to say that too many of us focus on the mechanics of a process or situation and don’t think about it holistically. We don’t consider the different parts that we have broken down, put together as a whole.

I don’t really know what the point of this blog is, other than that a light bulb went off in me and I am going to try to NOT analyze things so much for a while. I’ve been doing it now for a long time. I’m going to give myself a break from the exhaustion of thinking about things so much. I have some friends who are really good at this. They go with the flow, they don’t stress about decisions to the point of stomach ulcers or sleepless nights (neither of which I have a problem with, just for the record), they live life with their heart. They don’t break everything down to pieces.

And honestly, I think I’m a lot better than I used to be. At least in all aspects of my life except for relationships. With those, I still beat the heck out of them. I overanalyze them to the point that I convince myself that something is or isn’t a certain way, just because I’ve thought about it so much. Do you do it too?

It’s scary. I hate it. But I’m human and part of me is just grateful that God gave me the ability to think (because let’s be honest – some people aren’t actually very good at that!). I say I’m better than I used to be because I also depend more now on my faith. Faith, in this regard, is not always knowing why certain things happen or why certain decisions are made, but just believing that they are the right thing to do. Following your heart and letting your head have a little rest.