Ethiopia 2011: Leaving a Piece of My Heart in Addis

I’ll be honest with you up front. Starting this blog is a very daunting task. There is so much that I want to put in here, but I know that I will never get it all in, nor would I subject you to the pages upon pages that would certainly be the result if I did. If I were to tell you everything I wanted to, there would be a lot of emotion, some pretty funny stories, some graphic descriptions of bodily functions, and overall an outpouring of genuine love for the Ethiopian people. But I won’t do that. At least not right now. Because I don’t think I have it in me to do all at once. And I don’t know what this blog post will end up being like, because I haven’t thought it through, so I beg your forgiveness up front for what may seem like a sporadic ramble of stories and emotions.

I will start with this: I left a piece of my heart in Ethiopia. And the story begins…

I played a game when I was in Ethiopia with my two travel buddies (my good friend Lauren and her mom, Patty). I would ask them for the first two words that came to mind to describe a particular something or someone. I liked this game because it was a quick way to understand their impression of something without the opportunity for them to filter things. And it worked great! So I’m curious, assuming that most of you blog readers out there have never been to Ethiopia, what two words would you choose to describe your impressions of Ethiopia?

I’m going to take a wild guess here and say that maybe they would be poor and hungry? Or hot and dry? Perhaps you know a little more about the country and the humanitarian issues that it continually faces, and maybe you chose orphans and poverty? All of these would be right. But after spending three weeks over there, they would not be the words that I would choose. Because while all of those words describe Ethiopia perfectly, that is not the impression that I walked away with; that’s not what I felt about the Ethiopian people. My words, to describe this poor, poverty-stricken, hungry, hot, dry country full of orphans, would be compassion and resilience.

Compassion
You see, the people of Ethiopia have fully embraced the notion of compassion. They truly live it. Suggested synonyms for compassion are sympathy, empathy, concern, kindness, consideration, and care. And these are all words that I would use to describe the people of Ethiopia. It goes without saying that not everyone in Ethiopia can qualify as a compassionate person. But my goodness, I encountered so many compassionate people during my three week journey that I have no reservations in making that general statement. And I’m not just talking about people who are involved in the humanitarian effort there or who are acting as the hands and feet of Jesus serving God’s people. I’m talking about those people AND the people on the streets, the people who work in the guest houses, the poor families and their poor kids – all of the people of Ethiopia whom I ran into and interacted with on a daily basis. They are no superstars, but they are making a difference. And their compassion was apparent.

Ethiopians consider everyone family. Kids roam the streets from dawn until dusk unharmed. They have to roam the streets because they often have nothing but their legs and feet to get them to where they need to go, whether that be school, running errands for the family, fetching water an hour and a half away from their home, finding or begging for food, perhaps working a minor job like shoe shining to help bring in income; whatever it may be. They don’t stay home because at home they are idle. And Ethiopians really can’t afford to be idle. Most of them don’t know how they are getting tomorrow’s meal, or may need today’s wages to buy it. And most of them eat once a day, and that one time a day is anything but a feast. I wonder if all of the compassion hovering over the city of Addis Ababa helps sustain these people? It must, right? Because there really is no other explanation for it.

During my journey in Addis, I was fortunate enough to go on eight home visits. The organization that we were working with makes home visits for each of its kiddos at least once a year, kind of as a general check on the status of the family, but also to deliver some “gift” items such as oil or sugar. We did a few other home visits on our day spent visiting Korah (more info to come on that in a separate blog.…I think). Each of these home visits provided a completely different experience, but the one thing they all had in common was the living conditions. Imagine a tin or mud shack the size of your kitchen (unless it’s really big!) or office at work. Or perhaps your outside patio. Now imagine that with no floor, just dirt, and either tin or mud walls. And there could be anywhere from 2 – 8 people living in this structure. Most that we saw had only one bed and no “real” other place to sit. All of their possessions fit into this one room, which should indicate how many possessions they have. Some had one light bulb hanging from a wire running across the ceiling, and some had no electricity. None of them had running water, but some had access to a pump relatively closeby, where they may or may not have to pay for the water. Others had to walk up to an hour and a half each way to get water. So I’ll stop there, but you get the idea.

Now, here is a brief glimpse of each of our visits: 1) a single mother with one daughter who loves and cares for that sweet girl so much that she left her entire family in the countryside to come to Addis for work, 2) an HIV positive mother with one son who fights her disease every single day, but loves that boy to pieces and is so proud of him, 3) a schizophrenic mother who is not on medication, a father with ulcers who only sporadically works, and two of the most precious girls that you will ever meet, who crave love and attention because they don’t get it at home, 4) a great aunt who loves on her great niece because she was abandoned by her mother, 5) a single mom who tries her hardest to make a happy home for her sweet little daughter and the love that she has for her radiates in that little shack, 6) a room so small that the front door hardly opens, but is home to four people who cling together tightly as a family, 7) an 88 yr old blind leper and his family, and 8) a crazy funny lady who lives with her husband and one daughter in a tiny room with a menagerie of other “collectibles”.

Do you get it? Can you picture any of this?  I’m guessing probably not, because as an American, I would not have believed it until I saw it. And my mind, as quirky and creative as it can be at times, would never, ever have created these images as homes. But this is their reality. And even with this reality, these people are full of compassion.

Where else did I see compassion amongst the people of Ethiopia? When I observed a parent picking up a child from school, about to start the 45 minute walk home, and that child looked up at mom or dad with a big smile and got a loving hug in return, that’s compassion. When I saw parents toting around their little ones in slings on their backs, while carrying bags of other items and clearly burdened by their load, that’s compassion. And I saw an Ethiopian who is physically handicapped, either sliding across the road on skateboard or walking very slowly with a cane across the street, and people were patient and helpful, that’s compassion. I don’t know that the Western world has that kind of compassion; at least that which is not out of obligation or pride.

Resilience
When I think of the word resilience, I think of a man who gets back up again each time he is beaten down. Or someone who perseveres through trying times, or perhaps a woman who stands up for what she believes in despite the consequences. Synonyms for resilience include flexibility, spirit, hardiness, and toughness. In Addis, resilience is seen in just about every face that you encounter.

Just to give you a frame of reference, there are approximately 100 birr to every $6. So each birr is about 6 cents. A normal main dish at a restaurant costs anywhere from 30 – 60 birr, so give or take $3. And when you are walking along the streets and someone comes up to you begging for money, they ask for 1 birr. ONE BIRR! That’s how precious money is to the Ethiopians. They are resilient. They fight back every day; fighting against the things that continually try to push them down, like a growling stomach, aching pains from hard, manual labor, the struggle to learn English and Amharic, inclement weather than can destroy what home they have, and countless other factors.

I like to think that children are known for their resilience. Maybe it’s because they are so innocent and trusting. This world has not yet robbed them of that. Looking into the faces of the 24 children with whom I loved on, hugged, was the happy recipient of many kisses from, played dodgeball and soccer with, sung with, danced with, prayed with, cried with, blew bubbles with, took pictures of, created with – I can’t help but see faces of resilience. Each family situation is different, but those kids are still young enough to bounce back. They know hunger, they know pain, they no true sadness and hurt. But they know how to love like nobody else. And a piece of my heart remains with each one of them still today. It probably always will.

Being realistic for a minute, it is in our human nature to desire love and affection; and acceptance and affirmation. As children it comes in the purest form. As adults, generally it takes on a different form. But is it any wonder that I was literally on a high over there? I mean, this girl was getting loved on and attention more than I EVER have in my life. For three weeks solid! It felt strange to me, that I was supposed to be putting forth the effort to love on THEM and make THEM happy, yet I was feeling so loved. I guess that is the true meaning of God’s love, isn’t it? It works both ways.

Here are a few other tidbits or thoughts of interest from my trip:

• The streets of Addis work in harmony. Cars, trucks, donkeys, goats, people, sheep, buses, horse & buggies, stray dogs – they all dance together in a weird, fascinating way. There are few stop signs or traffic lights. It works. It’s chaotic and frightening for an American, but it works;

• The Ethiopians generally dress in many, long layers. Even in the middle of summer. Apparently they are cooler keeping the sun off of them then they are with less clothes on;

• The children over there have no concept of gender-specific clothing or colors. I guess it makes sense when you don’t have a lot, but I always did a double take when I saw a boy wearing white socks with green lace, or a pink sweatsuit, or a little girl wearing a Cars hooded sweatshirt ;

• They pick their noses and spit like it’s nothing;

• They love having their picture taken and they love white people. We’ve never colonized or corrupted them.

So here I am at the end of this blog. I will eventually write another blog telling more about the day to say things that we did, work in some funny stories about the kids, and hit the major sites that we saw. I will end this by saying that I was moved like never before. I expected to feel something major in my bones after this trip. And with no doubt, my bones are feeling the impact of compassion and resilience from a people who have every excuse not to be compassionate and resilient.

It is apparent that God is at work in Ethiopia. And I am so happy to have had the privilege to be a part of it, even if it was only for three weeks. And I also know, without a doubt, that a piece of my heart resides in Addis Ababa still today. It resides with each one of those children whom I came to understand and love. And it resides with a people who surprised me with the hope that they hold in their hearts, despite the reality in which they live. More to come, my friends…

Words Aren't Enough

I want you to think of a time in your life when something was so special to you, so impactful, so truly incredible, that words were not enough to express how you felt. You tried and tried and tried to get out what you were feeling in your heart, but it didn’t seem to mean the same spoken out loud as it did internally.

Well, my friends, that is me – right now!!! And it’s been me for about a week, and I will never be able to express the immense gratitude that I have in my heart right now, but I will try. I will try with words like appreciation, awe, blessed, and amazed. And I will say…..

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! There have been so many donations for my upcoming trip to Ethiopia. Thank you for the donation items, and the money, and the prayers, and the encouraging words. They mean so much to me and the two ladies with whom I’m traveling. As if the pictures on here don’t show enough of the goods, here is a detailed list of what we’re taking over so far:

15 soccer balls

3 soccer ball pumps

15 scrub sponges

200 gallon-sized Ziploc bags

1000 cotton balls

500 baby wipes

570 gummy children's multivitamins

13 tubes of Neosporin

240 travel-sized toothpaste tubes

60 toothbrush covers

1 puzzle

26 various children’s books
10 slinkys
144 balloons
37 containers of play dough
76 large pieces of sidewalk chalk
3 jump ropes
10 super balls
15 sticker books w/ stickers
2 packs of foam letters
10 coloring books
17 dry erase boards
84 pencils
360 crayons
312 markers
8 pencil sharpeners
10 pairs of children's scissors
40 glue sticks
400 colored craft sticks
1000 popsicle sticks
300 pipe cleaners
2 large packs of pom pom balls
372 wiggle eyes
48 Silly Bandz bracelets
204 feet of elastic craft cords
800 colored craft beads
225 alphabet beads
29 pairs of boys and girls socks
4 onesies
7 shirts
16 pairs of pants

Ahhhhh, do you see what I mean?!?!? Isn’t that incredible? This is a huge contribution to the needs of the organization with which we’ll be serving! How could I not be filled to the brim with appreciation? You guys have really outdone yourselves. We have filled two extra suitcases so far and there is still room left in the third, so I certainly won’t turn anything else away!

I’m so genuinely happy. Happy that those of us who live in a world where we don’t have to worry day to day how we are going to get by, where we have schools, infrastructure, families who love us and can take care of us – that even if we don’t have as much as we think we should or all of the things that we want, we can still give. Give a little of our hearts to those who have far less than us.

This journey so far as renewed my spirit as a human being, and makes me hold on to the truth and hope that people are decent. Well and truly decent. And I haven’t even traveled to Ethiopia yet! So before I get too wrapped up even more in this, I will stop and save the rest of the sentiment for future blogs when I’ve actually made it over there :-)

And I promise you this: I will try my hardest to capture the children of Ethiopia enjoying as many of these items as possible. I want to show all of you the impact that you will make on each of their lives. Whether it be playing soccer with a shiny new soccer ball, dressing up in a new pair of pants that actually fit, getting a cap for a toothbrush to keep the mold away, having a book to read, or participating in one of what will likely be a million arts and crafts projects – the lives of these children will be better because of you.

Until then, whether you’ve been a contributor monetarily, with physical items, or spiritually with prayer and support, I truly cannot thank you enough, from the bottom of my heart. And thank you for loving ME enough to be part of this journey with me. Words simply aren’t enough!

Guess How Much I Love You?

How many of you are familiar with this children's book?  Guess How Much I Love You is a staple in every American child's library.  Along with Goodnight Moon and one of my personal favorites, Where the Wild Things Are.  There are a lot of other things that are staples in the lives of American children.  Things that we take for granted and don't even notice on a daily basis.  We seamlessly get through life with these and other "things" that keep us stay fed, clothed, clean, healthy, educated, entertained, and feeling loved.

Did you know that there are almost 83 million people living in Ethiopia today?  I don't think that I need to tell you that it is one of the poorest countries in the world.  It struggles from severe poverty, HIV and the lack of HIV education, and is home to over 3.8 million orphans.  I remember when I was growing up I used to always see pictures of starving Ethiopian children and hear about how hungry people were over there.  It was the one country that stood out to me the most as a child as "hurting".  And now I'm going there.  And my heart is hurting for the people of Ethiopia and I haven't even met them yet.

I leave in one month.  I'm volunteering with a friend and her mom at a Christian-based organization in Addis.  I will be there for three weeks.  And the entire time I'm there, I'll be with the children of Ethiopia.  I am excited beyond words, but nervous and scared at the same time.  I don't know what to expect from this trip, but I do know that it will be life-changing.

And when I think about these children's books that we as Americans expect to have in vast quantities on our children's shelves at home, next to their beds with cozy, colorful bedding, and a nightlight always left on, it makes me think:  how do these Ethiopian children who don't have books and beds with cozy, colorful bedding and nightlights and moms and dads to tuck them in - how do they know that they are loved?

I want to be able to go over there and say to each one of their sweet faces, "Guess How Much I Love You?"  I don't even know you, but I love you enough to bring you basic things that every child needs - a toothbrush, some soap, something to keep your feet warm at night.  I love you enough to hope and pray that you can be educated and have a chance in this world, and that perhaps I can help with some children's books, puzzles, coloring books, markers, crayons, and pencils.  I love you enough that I will try to provide you with just a few things that might keep you healthy - children's vitamins, diaper rash ointment, cotton balls, Neosporin, and baby wipes.  I love you enough that perhaps I can give you something to wear.  And enough that maybe I can find something that will put a smile on your face, like a soccer ball, jump rope, sidewalk chalk, balloons or stickers.  I love you this much.

You see, every child deserves to feel loved.  And there are so many ways -  easy, easy ways -  to show them that they are.  It doesn't take the newest toy on the market.  It takes basic necessities that they live so many of their days without.

So here is my plea:
For anyone who wants to help me show these children that they are loved, there is a list of items below that I would be more than happy to collect and take over with me to Ethiopia to give to these precious souls.  Contact me and we can work out logistics, but I need to receive everything no later than Saturday, March 26th. 

Alternatively, for anyone who would like to contribute $$ for us to buy some of these items to take over, or to give to the organization directly, either send me a check or click on the blog link that follows, and you can donate via PayPal to Ben & Lauren Huss.  Lauren and her mom are the ones serving with me over in Ethiopia.  (*Note:  if you choose this option, please put in the notes that you know me*).  If you like, you can specify what you prefer your $$ to be spent on.

Blog link to contribute via PayPal:  http://teamhuss.blogspot.com/2011/02/since-many-of-you-asked.html

Items requested for donation
baby wipes
diaper rash ointment
cotton balls
Neosporin
stickers for activities
crayons
markers
pencils
kids scissors
glue sticks
foam letters or shapes
balloons
jump ropes
yarn
wiggly eyes
craft sticks
sidewalk chalk
play dough
coloring books
puzzles
toddler/preschool board books in English
kids' Bibles in English
books for 1st-4th graders
new or gently used clothing (particularly for 7-11 year olds) (also pants only, no shorts)

I'm not usually one to ask for things.  I actually feel quite uncomfortable doing it, but I know that I cannot do this alone.  And I also know that I don't want that to limit these children to just what I can provide for them.  And I know that many of you out there have amazing hearts and have the desire to help others wound tightly inside your DNA.  So if I may, I would like to ask you all to do one of three things:  1) show these children love through the gift of items 2) show them love through a $$ donation or 3) pray for this trip and for these children.  All are equally important and equally impactful.  And certainly equally appreciated.

If you have any questions at all, please DO NOT hesitate to contact me.

Thank you, sweet friends, for helping me show these children how much they are loved.

Are You In?

I need to tell you a story. And I’m unsure why I feel so compelled to share this with you. Perhaps it’s so I can solicit help from some of you for keeping me accountable. Perhaps it’s so some of you can understand me better. I don’t really know. I have only told this story to a handful of close friends up to this point. And it’s nothing scandalous, and it’s not going to change the world. Well, it might change my world.

As most of you who are reading this probably know, I lived in Australia for almost three years. I loved Australia. It became home to me and it was hard to part with it when it was time to return to America. I made many, many close friends over there, including a guy that I dated for about three and a half years. And then geography happened.

So ever since I returned home, I’ve been thinking about when I could make the trip back Down Under for a visit. It requires a nice long vacation from reality, patience, and money. Luckily for me, I had the second two covered, but getting the desired amount of time off of work always seemed to be the tricky part. And then I changed jobs. And with my new job, I still got six weeks of vacation every year, the difference is, I can take a lot more of it, or all of it, at once if I so desire. Score!

So when I got this new job last August, I immediately planned a three week vacation to head back to Oz to visit some people whom I have missed dearly over the past several years since I’ve been back in the States. I booked my PTO, told everyone here that I was going over, and I told everyone there that I was planning to come over for a visit. I even went as far as to research flights and talk to some friends about the possibility of staying with them when I came over. I had all but pressed the button to go on this trip.

But something was holding me back. And I fought it for a long time. I just wasn’t as excited about this trip as I should’ve been. I kept thinking that if I finalized plans and as the time got closer, that I would feel better about it and my excitement would grow. But it never did. And lodging wasn’t working out the way that I wanted to. So I knew something was up.

One Saturday morning last November, as I was doing my quiet time and praying over this and many other things, the Lord really laid it out for me. He was faithful and He answered my prayers. I don’t know what I did to deserve the amount of clarity that I got at that exact moment in time, but I knew two things for sure: 1) I was not to go to Australia and 2) I was to do missions instead.

WHAT?!?!? I’m sorry Lord, did you say missions? Are you confused? Did you get your appointments mixed up? This is Lisa: the Type A control freak, business-minded, analytical, logical, rational, planner, everything-is-set gal. And you want me to do what? Missions? Are you crazy? I really thought He was, right at that moment. But then, I got really, really excited. Like really excited. Not only because I had this new adventure to look forward to, but probably more so that this was one of the few times in my life that God has literally spoken to me and made something so clear. And He also made it clear to me that I didn’t have to understand it right then. And to be honest, I still don’t understand it today as I sit here typing this.

That same weekend, I went straight to my church’s website and looked up the 2011 mission trips, only to find that they were not finalized yet and that information was forthcoming. So I was full of all this energy and excitement and desire to act, yet I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do; what was God’s timing for all of this?

I remember taking to one friend about this development, and expressing to her my complete shock and fear about this “calling”. I’m not equipped for this. I don’t like to talk to random people and I certainly am not comfortable sharing the gospel with them. If you want me to build a house, I’m in. If you want me to spend time with some kiddos who are underprivileged, I’m in. But that’s not the vibe I was getting from Him. And I remember her saying to me, “Lisa, God does not call the equipped, He equips the called”. Well, that’s cool and all, but He has a LOT of work to do in me!

So I spoke to a few more people about this, people whom I trusted for their Godly wisdom and guidance, and who wouldn’t think that I was crazy for going through all of this. And every single one of them was so excited for me and thought that it was amazing that this was what He had in store for me. So I promptly cancelled my trip to Oz (really I just cancelled it in my head since I hadn’t made any definitive plans yet) and just kind of sat back and listened for a while.

And then one night (and I don’t remember the exact timing of this), I was talking to my dear friend who is adopting from Ethiopia (http://teamhuss.blogspot.com), and she casually mentioned that maybe I could go over there with her during the “in between” period from the first court appointment to the final court appointment where her and her husband get to bring home baby. She had previously told me that she wanted to stay over in Ethiopia and learn more about her future child’s home country and culture, and give back to that country through volunteer or missions work. And pretty much without hesitation, I exuberantly said “yes!” What a perfect opportunity for me! Not only as someone who loves to travel the world, but also with my new found “calling”, I thought this would be great exposure to the missions field. And I was also excited about the opportunity that this provided for our friendship.

And to make a long story short, I am, in reality, heading over to Ethiopia for three weeks very shortly, to experience what God has in store for me, and for my dear friend and her mom. God has completely turned my life around in the last several months. I went from a job that demanded 110% of my attention for a majority of the year, to a new one that challenges me, allows me travel the world and see how others live, and gives me the freedom to live MY life. And I’ve come to learn that this new job was no coincidence. God is amazing. He does amazing things in my life, and in so many others’ lives. And I’ve seen it time and time again, and it gets me really, really excited.

But I’m also scared. Terrified actually. What if I get over to Ethiopia and I want to stay? What if I want to give up what most would see as a normal life or the real American dream? What if I want to marry someone who lives in Africa and have our little kids running around a village in their diapers? What will people think? How will my family react? How will my non-believer friends react? How will I react?

Why would I want to give up a comfortable roof over my head, a car that’s paid off, the foodie part of my personality, the luxuries that I experience in every day life? Why in the world would I want to do that?

And better yet, what happens if I get over there and feel nothing? Is all of this “call to missions” just a sham? Is it fake? That can’t happen, right? I know that I could’ve never made that up for myself. I would’ve never picked this for my life. And when is something going to happen? How much effort do I need to put into this, and how much do I need to just sit back and wait? Do I be proactive or do I be reactive? Remember Lord, this Type A personality likes to have a plan. And it’s a hard lesson for me to not know what that is!

But someone else has picked it for me. And someone else has bigger plans for me. And it may not involve living in a remote village in Africa with my kids running around in diapers. But maybe it does. And all I know is that there is a stirring in me that I cannot ignore. I’m grasped tightly, my heart is wrenched, and something is not loosening its grip. I can’t ignore it. But at the same time, I don’t know what to do about it.

At church today, the band sung about an awakening – an awakening in our souls, and the guest speaker spoke from John 6 when some of the disciples turned away from Jesus because the life that He was calling them to lead was too difficult and they were worried what others would think. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to walk away for fear of what others might think. My biggest fear should be that I live my life for me and not for someone else. Not for Him. That’s what I should be scared and uncomfortable about.

And then our guest speaker asked “Are you in or are you out?” Are you IN or are you OUT? Because that’s the ultimate question isn’t it? How could I not say, “I’m in; I’m in with all of my heart and all of my soul and all of my being. I’m in for whatever roller coaster ride you want to take me on, even if it’s a scary one. I’m in for being judged by people who don’t know You. Because the people who do know You will not question this for a second.”

And maybe that’s all He’s after – my commitment and obedience. Maybe He won’t take me on a crazy roller coaster ride. Maybe it’s just a trip around the lazy river. Maybe I just needed to talk through this entire thought process on paper and not just in my head. I don't know. But my eyes have been opened, and so has my heart. And whatever it is that is in store for me, whatever He has planned - “I’m in!”

Entertaining Angels

I recently found myself in the middle of a conversation about angels. And not just a sidebar conversation in which they came up, but stories, real-life stories of people who have encountered them. Admittedly, I was freaked out. Well and truly freaked out; like goose bumps up and down my arms and that unsettling but exciting feeling in my stomach and all throughout my insides. I don’t know why I reacted this way, aside from the fact that I don’t like thinking about supernatural things; which may seem contradictory to the fact that I’m a believer.

So these stories made me realize that I don’t really know a lot about angels. I know the concept of angels vs demons, I know that people like to put them as ornaments on their Christmas trees, and I’ve seen the movie Michael. Other than that, I was bit (ok, totally) uninformed about angels. And really, that is nobody else’s fault but my own.

So I did some research on the internet (sidebar: WHAT did we ever do without the internet? Would I have driven to the public library so that I could check out books about angels? I suppose I would have, since that’s what I used to ask my mom to do when I had a report due in school!). And I learned a little something about angels.

First, they are not cute, cuddly, chubby little cherub children. They are adults. And apparently they are almost always male. I think this would contribute to my “freaking out” if I ever saw one. And they sometimes appear in human form looking completely normal. And other times they glow, or have wings or some other non-human distinguishing feature. Ummm, freak out time! But they can also not been seen at all. My research indicated that they will only become human, if necessary, to carry out specific responsibilities.

Second, there are LOTS of them, but they seem to have all been created at the same time. And there are no new angels being added to the angel population and they do not die, so the number is believed to stay constant. There have to be so many of them because they are not omnipresent i.e. each angel can be in only one place at any given time.

Some other interesting tidbits I learned about angels:

- The word “angel” comes from the Greek word aggelos, which means “messenger”. They are messengers from God! Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation? – Hebrews 1:14 (NIV)

- Their tasks can include everything from revealing, guiding and providing, to protecting delivering and encouraging.

Hebrews 13:2 reminds us to “…not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” What? You mean that homeless person that I snubbed at the corner could be an angel? Or the sweet old lady who needed help getting the groceries in her car? Or the man in the wheelchair crossing the street when I was in a rush and wanted to turn right? These people were likely not angels coming into human form to teach me something, but what if they were? Have I already encountered an angel in my life and didn’t even know it?

The Newsboys have a song called “Entertaining Angels”. It reminds me that they can be anywhere or anybody and that I may be entertaining them without even knowing. So perhaps this means that I should be more aware of the people and circumstances around me. I’m pretty sure that I should.

Now let’s talk about “freak out” moments. Because I promise you that if I were to see a glowing body protecting somebody (or myself), or an adult male with wings, I would want to close my eyes and pretend that it wasn’t there. I would freak out. Or maybe I would stand wide-eyed in awe and amazement. That’s a nicer option, but less likely.

But why do I feel this way? It doesn’t quite make sense to me. Maybe I have some work to do. Maybe I’m supposed to want to see angels. I don’t know. I’m a spiritual person; I mean, I believe in God who is unseen, yet is so present. But He’s GOD! And they would be something that is not familiar to me.

So what now? I think the key for me is to remember that they are messengers for God, and that God sends them for a specific purpose. If they come into my life, it’s because God wants them there. And if He wants them there, then by golly, so should I! He would never do anything to harm me; it would only be for good. I certainly would want an angel around if I was in trouble and needed protection. If it meant the difference between life and death, how could I not choose an angel “freak out” moment? And if God needs to teach me something or reveal something to me, who am I to close my eyes. He just wants to act on His will for my life.

I’ve learned a little something about angels. I can’t promise that I still won’t freak out if and when I see one here on Earth, but I will make a concerted effort to be more aware of the company around me, because in truth, they may be right here in my every day life. Today, I may be entertaining angels.

Dear Trouble

I am completely smitten and I don’t even know you.
You make my heart race.
You make me feel things that I haven’t felt in a long time.
You adore me, and took care of me right from the start.
I pride myself in being in control of my feelings, and with you, I want to lose control.
You distract me from reality.
You charm me so effortlessly.
You know the exact right things to do and say at just the right moment. And when you do, I go weak in the knees.

*DEEP BREATH*

Have you ever run across trouble in your life? Everyone’s trouble is different, but in the end, it’s no good. It’s still trouble. And we know that in the depths of our soul. I don’t remember the exact occasion when I learned this little “trick”, but it works. It opens my eyes every time.

So what is the trick? When you run across something in your life that you know is trouble, but it feels so good, and you find yourself convincingly justifying it, grab your journal. Or if you don’t have a journal, grab a notepad or a napkin or a boarding pass, whatever you can, and write down everything about that trouble that you like. Write down all of the ways that it makes you feel something – whatever those feelings are. Allow yourself to let loose on your napkin; write all of the good stuff – the juicy stuff; stuff that you would never want anyone else to read. And then step back. And read it aloud. And you just might notice something.

For me, I notice that each feeling or thought that I wrote down sounded an awful lot like someone who knows me better than I know myself. A wolf in sheep’s clothing: Satan. He comes after me, time and time again. He woos me. He’s charming. And he’s very good at it. And sometimes he’s pretty successful.

I’ll be honest here; there are times when I feel like a split personality. On one hand, I recognize trouble when it comes after me. I tell myself that I am not going to be weak. But on the other hand, I convince myself that I deserve to feel that good. That it’s really not “that bad”. I start justifying things, and before I know it, I’m lured in by trouble’s charm. And oh how charming trouble can be.

So why is it SO hard to walk away from trouble? Like really really really almost impossibly hard? I catch myself in moments of almost pure panic wondering what the heck I’m doing and why I can’t open my mouth to talk to Jesus. It’s like I’m frozen. Trouble seduces me.

I’m only really recently learning about and recognizing spiritual warfare in my life. I’ve always heard about it, but until you are really seeking God’s face and becoming someone who Satan sees as a real threat, it’s hard to recognize.

According to Wikipedia, the definition of spiritual warfare is this (slightly abbreviated by me):

“Spiritual warfare responds to the Christian concept that the devil attempts to thwart good and the will of God, and is manifested in multiple ways, including attacks on a person's thoughts, relationships, or life with God.”

So what do you think these attacks look like in your life? Have you ever noticed them?

Trouble knows your weak spots. He certainly knows mine. And he uses people in your life, or circumstances in your life to attack you. And sometimes those attacks feel so good. A little too good. So good that you don’t even notice what’s happening until the Shepherd comes after you and brings you back to the flock. And He’ll always try.

The one good thing about these attacks is that with God on our side, we will always win. He will fight alongside us in the battle of spiritual warfare, and He never gives us anything that we can’t handle with His help. I certainly know that I could not handle ANY of it on my own. I am weak in the flesh, but He is strong! And with His strength, I am able to say this:

Dear Trouble, you lead me away from Jesus and tempt me in ways that I should not be tempted. And I can’t do that.

It's Time

The New Year is upon us, and I honestly cannot wait to see what 2011 has in store for me. 2010 was a year of growth and challenges, and I am confident that I came out a different person on the tail end. I am thankful for all of the new friends I have who encourage and support me, and for my “old” friends and family who were consistently by my side. I loved making new memories with all of them and experiencing new international adventures that my new job took me on around the world.

So as the world makes resolutions for this new year (which I choose not to do, by the way), I began to reflect on what went through my mind in 2010, during my time of growth and challenges, and what I remember my friends and family going through as well. There were a lot of prayer requests that came through for various reasons, and a lot sent out from my end as well.

Not to put a damper on anyone’s resolutions or goals for 2011, but it’s time. It’s time to think about the big things in life. I know that the big things are different for each person: some may be accomplishing a life long dream of travel or a big trip, some may be getting into shape for good, and others may be working on relationships with other people and with Jesus. Whatever these things may be, I encourage you to take them seriously. There is no time like now, when we have a new year and a fresh perspective and it’s easy for us to mentally start all over again.

As I reviewed the many prayer requests received and sent in 2010, the following things came to mind. Please consider them as you plan for this year, and for this lifetime, that are ahead of us:

If you were to die tomorrow, are you confident that you would go to heaven?
John 3:16; Romans 3:22-24

Are you happy with the state of your relationship with your family?
Philippians 2:3-4; Hebrews 3:13; Deuteronomy 5:16

Are there people whom you need to forgive? Or those whom you need to reconcile with?
Luke 6:37; Matthew 6:14; Colossians 3:12-14; Ephesians 4:32; 1 John 4:19

Are you being financially responsible? Are you giving away your money to the poor and underprivileged?
Luke 14:13-14; Matthew 25:42-46; Malachi 3:10; Leviticus 27:30; 1 Timothy 6:7-10; James 4:17

Are you making wise choices? Are you getting caught up in the mainstream of life?
Matthew 6:33-34; Romans 1:20-21; Colossians 2:6-7; John 4:23-24; Titus 2:12-14; 2 Chronicles 7:14

Is your life stale? Have you become complacent and live by a routine?
Romans 12:2; Romans 16:17-18; John 12:25; John 8:23

How is your health? Are you taking care of your body?
1 Corinthians 6:19-20; 1 Corinthians 3:16

Are you living your life for you? Are you comparing your life to the lives of others?
Galatians 6:4-5; Ecclesiastes 4:4; Psalm 37:7; Psalm 49:16

Do you notice that you are actually living your “grown-up” life? Are you still finding yourself saying “when this happens….” or “when I can do this….”?
Luke 9:62; Matthew 14:25-33

Do you spend enough time with those closest to you? Are you loving them enough?
John 15:12-13; Hebrews 10:24; 1 Thessalonians 2:8; Romans 12:10

(You’ll notice that I jotted down some scripture references. I like having little reminders from the Bible for various aspects of my life, and things to refer to when I’m going through something in life. If you haven’t used this website yet, I suggest http://www.biblegateway.com for online Bible references and scripture look up. Just click and go!)

I’ll be honest, I was a little apprehensive to write this blog, but I felt convicted to do it in the end. I don’t want any of you thinking that I am lecturing you or trying to make you feel a certain way. I have no intention of doing that, and certainly have no right to do that. These are simply things that are near and dear to my heart; things that I have learned about over the past year specifically, and am working through with Jesus in my own life.

So dear friends, it’s time. There is no day like today. I know we are all in different stages of our lives and dealing with different issues. Heck, some of us may not even think that we have any issues! And I know that the topics above may not apply to each of us, but they were on my heart and on my mind, and because I passionately and purposefully LOVE my friends, my family, my encouragers, and our Creator, I wanted to throw them out there for consideration.

I wish you all a prosperous New Year – one filled with hope, joy and promise.